Called Me.....

Have you heard this song?!?!  If I could put into words the battles in me right now this is what I would write.  All Sons and Daughters nailed it with their song "Called Me Higher". 

I could just sit
I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness
Hope to feel Your presence
And I could just stay
I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You
Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life
So let Your mercy

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life
So let Your mercy light the path before me

Cause You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
[x4]

Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord x2



(Thanks Paul) :)

Pressing on

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance"

Read more: Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance Lyrics | MetroLyrics

I absolutely LOVE the beach!  This is a definite happy place for me.  There is nothing like standing on the beach in front of the ocean looking out into the vast waters that seems endless.  There is no other reality check that I serve a BIG God and I am but a speck of sand in His glorious plan.  It's humbling.  

 

Heading into this New Year I feel very much like a speck of sand.  There are oh so many mountains standing in our way, so many obstacles that seem impassible.  We have 7 (short) months to get to a point where we can move on to the next step of our mission. This alone seems HUGE!  We are having another baby in 6 months.  This mixed with preparing my sweet children to move, packing a house up, weeding out our life materials, saying good bye to our life in Dallas just seems like a huge task that I am not sure I want to dive into.  I hate knowing that there is going to be sadness, frustration, feeling like we are lost, watching my children hurt because they don't understand, and we are walking right into all of this willingly....who does that?  

When I was thinking about all of these overwhelming plans this song for some reason popped into my head.  I am very good at sucking things up and pressing on.  I am very good at doing this when a situation all of a sudden requires me too.  I am not so very good at it when I know I am willingly walking into it.  This scares me!  If I am scared how in the world am I suppose to guide my children through this in a godly, calm, "we got this because God has us" way?  While reading the words to this song it hit me....Philippians 3:12-14

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

 

Here Paul is saying that he is not perfect, and still struggles like everyone.  He presses on to make his future his own because Christ has made him His own.  There is a balance of faith and works of God and the response of the follower/believer.   There is a goal or target in life.  It's a heavenly target, and the prize is the fullness of blessings in the age to come.  Isn't that what living is all about? 

So dwelling on the events that need to take place in the next 7 months and the mountains that only God can move is not going to help me press on, or keep dancing as the song says.  I need to keep my eyes on Jesus and the mission that has been set out before us. There is no way that I can do any of this.... Jesus can, and He will work through me as long as my focus and pursuit is Him.

2014, you are going to be a crazy year, but I am pressing on, armed, and dangerous...be scared...be VERY scared!

 

 

Homeschooling

This makes me want to have 10 children!  This sweet girl is amazing on so many levels!  She loves to learn, sing, dance, get messy, read books, and potty trained herself!  Oh how thankful I am for her😃

The Cost

There is a cost for every choice that we make.  Some are good, some are bad, and some are both good and bad.  It is those "good and bad" costs that I struggle with.  Being a missionary I am finding that there are lots of choices to make and it seems that every choice has a good and bad cost. For example: I have this pull in me to hurry and sign Grace up for ballet classes because she will not be able to experience them again for a while once we are in Haiti, and then I want to get memberships to everything so she can experience the aquarium, zoo, arboretum, and splash parks.  Then there is the fact that we live in Dallas, TX and most of our family is in New Hampshire and North Carolina.  We don't have the funds to travel all the time so we are missing out on cousins, nieces and nephews being born, family events, and worse the passing of loved ones.  I feel like we are missing out on super great relationships we could be having, because we are here in Dallas doing what we feel the Lord is calling us to do (insert pity party here).

That sounds selfish right?  I mean I should be content with what I have and where God has called me.  This period of life is only but a moment and before I know it I will be in Haiti, finally where God has called me to be!  I can be established and start to put down some roots.  Then I can be content in where I am, right?

Did you catch that?  That whole pity party statement was all about me and how I think things should go, and how I can do what is best for me and my family.  If I can only get this, this, and this, then I will be content!  Oh silly Becca!  If you only understood.....

Luke 9: 57-62 hit me like a ton of bricks!  It was the understanding that I needed to put the "cost of following Christ" into perspective.  See in Luke 9:57-62 Luke is telling us of two men who are walking with Jesus and telling Him that they will follow Him.  One man tells Jesus that he will follow just as soon as he buries his father, and the other man tells Jesus that he will follow right after he says good bye to his family.  Jesus response to these men in verse 62 is "No one who put his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the Kingdom of God."  Ouch! Jesus summons to discipleship take precedence over everything else.  If we are going to follow Him, then we need to DO IT!  Do it without stipulations, without complaining, and without questioning!  If there is anything these 6 years in TX have taught me it is that Jesus has us!  He will not abandon us.  We have story after story of God's amazing, miraculous provisions for us.  How can I remember these, yet forget that He is going to take care of our needs in the future?  I don't need to worry about cramming in everything so we can have these experiences now, because I believe without a doubt that God has something way better then ballet classes in store for Grace, and way better things in store for my family then I could every create by myself.

So there you have it.  The choice of following Christ seems to have good and bad costs, but there is no other choice that I would make then to give up myself and follow Jesus!

Life is like pacifiers

I don't know about your house, but in mine pacifiers are either every where or no where.  Lydia only takes a pacifier when she is tired and once she is asleep she spits it out.  Now where that pacifier lands is beyond me.  I may see it land somewhere, but those suckers bounce.  I don't mean they bounce just a couple inches away....they bounce to the other side of the room!  Usually way under the book shelf, or crib..you know where it takes you forever to retrieve it.  Anyway, pacifiers are either every where and I know that I can easily grab one when Lydia is ready for a nap or melting down, or they are just no where to be seen and I have 2.5 seconds to find one, clean it, and get it into Lydia's mouth or we are in total melt down mode for the next half hour. 

Yesterday was one of those days...I couldn't find a paci anywhere!  I finally found one and that thing stayed with me the whole day!  I knew where it was and I was not about to let it out of my sight!  This morning on the other hand there were pacis everywhere!  I mean where did these things come from?  They certainly were not on the counter yesterday, or in Lydia's car seat, or in her bed.  I am pretty sure there are paci elves that take them just to play mean tricks on this tired momma.  Where ever they came from I was so thankful that just about every room I went into I found another paci!  I now have sanitized pacis in a container on my counter :)  Hopefully they stay there where I can find them tomorrow! 

This whole pacifier concept got me thinking this morning.  Our life right now is kinda like the pacifier game we often play.  Some times it feels like we have nothing and are just barley hanging on, and out of the blue we have a bunch!  It is such a sweet reminder that we don't need to worry about what we have, want, or need.  The Lord has never left us needing anything!  We are abundantly blessed by sweet friends and family that encourage us through hard days and love on our sweet girls.  And moments like those fill us up in a way no amount of money or material things ever could. 


Matthew 6:25-34
²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Laundry

Remember this post back in September: Laundry?  Well I am pleased to announce that just two months ago I had to replenish my supplies!  That's right!!  7 months of laundry detergent for about $30!  I add a scoop of Oxi Clean to my loads so I have had to buy that about every other month.  I have lost track of how many loads I have done, but it is a lot! 

I have stuck to the original recipe and the only thing I have changed is I add all the ingredients into one pot after I have melted the soap.  It instantly becomes liquid gel and stays that way!  This is awesome detergent and has been put to the test!  Let me tell you, anyone who has done cloth diapers knows that you just don't mess around with laundry detergents.  Those guys need to be cleaner then clean, and kept up with or else you get a stinky, non- absorbent mess!  I have done countless loads of stinky, messy cloth diapers and they come out clean and smelling fresh!  I have used a few different detergents from organic nuts, to tide and this homemade detergent holds its own. 

So all that to say, I am super excited with a money saving success!  I am in the process of trying out homemade cleaners.  I am please with one that I use on my hardwood floors and tried a new bathroom cleaner tonight.  There is something about making your own cleaner that not only saves money, but you are in control of the chemicals in your house.  Love that! 

Dance Party

Is there anything more fun then letting go of everything and dance and sing like no one is watching?!?!  

Grace loves music and dress up.  So today we combined these two things and just went crazy!  Crazy like dancing on the couch and coffee table while swinging our scarves and waving our hands around crazy.  Grace thought it was so awesome she asked to do it again after dinner.  

I love these sweet moments!