Fear

Can you remember your first fear?  I think I can.  Fear has been the theme in my heart the last couple months.  Luke finally graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary and we are filled with "what's next" questions.  We are following (blindly it seems) the Lord's direction and heading to Crossworld next weekend for two weeks to candidate with them.  This is a scary step into the unknown.  I am scared about leaving my girls with people I don't know for longer then they have every been with a stranger before, I am worried that they will not adjust well and that will take a toll out of us, and worried maybe this isn't what we are suppose to do and we are wasting God's time.  I am worried.....I do worry... a lot...too much.

During all my worrying my sweet little Grace has also discovered fear!  My "no fear" little girl has learned what it is to be scared of something.  Now, she isn't scared of jumping off the arm of the couch onto a pile of pillows (even though she has fallen onto the floor instead a couple times), or standing on the edge of a water fountain, or the edge of a pool to jump in.  No, she is afraid of snuffleupagus from Sesame Street, and Elmo's nose when he is acting like Pinocchio.  Poor baby screamed a blood curtailing scream last night when Elmo told a lie and his nose started to grow.  She held her own nose screaming "no" and clutched my leg.  Even though she was clearly terrified she kept asking me to watch it all the way through to the end.  She wanted to go through the scariness and see how that situation ended.  Once Elmo told the truth and his nose returned to his face, Grace grew calm and announced that it was all better. 

I learned a lesson from her last night.  Even though I am worried I need to see this through clinging to Jesus and following His way.  In the end I know it will be all better :)

So thankful for my sweet, tender Grace.  Being a mom ROCKS!

In other news:  Look who is sitting up now!  She is almost able to sit up completely on her own without pillows!  She is growing up too fast.. 6 months tomorrow :)